


chamomile for (his) burdened mind

by alienkid19



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Based On a D&D Game, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Healthy Relationships, Married Couple, Memory Loss, Nightmares, Nostalgia, Other, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 06:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17678237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienkid19/pseuds/alienkid19
Summary: The dream felt… important. And so, so familiar, but you just can’t place it. The details are fading quickly and your mind scrambles for something, anything, to focus on and remember.Why can’t you remember?





	chamomile for (his) burdened mind

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT CONTEXT, PLEASE READ:
> 
> hello! this is a short little thing i've written for my d&d oc raxpyn. she's a lawful good dwarf fighter who, at the point in time this story takes place, has been married to her wife emilia for nine and a half years. emilia is a dwarf as well, and the town doctor.
> 
> four months ago in real life, a friend of mine got a bunch of us together and said hey! let's play the adventure zone! and thus raxpyn was created. WARNING FOR MAJOR TAZ SPOILERS. raxpyn was a member of the ipre crew on the starblaster, along with lucretia, davenport, nimbus, tygryn, xiban, and g. this takes place about ten and a half years after the memory wipe, very close to the beginning of the adventure.
> 
> obviously i do not own nor did i create the adventure zone. tagged as original work/characters so as not to clutter the adventure zone tag.
> 
> this is super self-indulgent and references our particular campaign in a major way, which i've addressed down at the end. also i... couldn't figure out how to indent. enjoy, comment, and feel free to reach me at ahyesitsaugust on tumblr! <3

“Rax? Raxpyn, baby, what’s going on?” The bed shifts as Emilia sits up to wrap her arms around you from behind. The warmth of her embrace is a comfort, almost enough to bring you back to reality, but the fog in your head leftover from your dream refuses to dissipate. It felt… important. And so, so familiar, but you just can’t place it. The details of the dream are fading quickly and your mind scrambles for something, anything, to focus on and  _ remember _ .

 

_ Why can’t you remember? _

 

A pang of melancholy hits your chest so suddenly you can’t breathe. Your whole face stings as hot tears well up in your eyes and fall into your lap, where Emilia has taken your rough hands into her slender ones. You recognize this feeling, of course. Loss. Longing for something that isn’t there anymore. Armruk’s funeral is still fresh in your mind, and yet somehow this pain is greater than that of losing your closest friend. The man who built the very house you carried Emilia into on the day of your wedding. Armruk’s death crushed you in a way you thought nothing ever could, and still your heart aches a thousand times more than it did in those months spent grieving. You sob, low and harsh, your hands balling into tight fists. You can only imagine this is what drowning feels like. You are drowning at the bottom of the deepest ocean of despair because you have  _ lost _ .

 

You suck in a breath and just like that, it’s gone. The ache in your chest, the cloudiness in your head, disappearing without a trace.

 

Emilia has wrapped herself completely around you now. She is petting your hair and whispering to you, over and over,  _ I love you, darling, Raxpyn, my love, my wife, I love you _ . Of course you know this is a completely appropriate reaction to your outburst moments ago, but the absurdity of your wife comforting you when nothing is wrong is almost overwhelming. You let her hold you for about as long as you can stand before gently withdrawing from her embrace.

 

Emilia doesn’t say a word as you stand up. She doesn’t have to; it’s written all over her face.  _ I’m here,  _ she says.  _ Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. _

 

You are reminded, not for the first time, of how deeply you love the woman before you.

 

And then a sense of deja vu washes over you. Something about the dream, or the time of night, you suppose. The words are out of your mouth before you think them:

 

“Let’s have some tea.”

**Author's Note:**

> the deja vu and tea at the end there was a reference to another ipre member and raxpyn's best friend, nimbus. nimbus is an air genasi divination wizard who suffers frequent nightmares and has a penchant for tea (can you guess his favorite?).
> 
> i love these characters a lot lol
> 
> thanks so much for reading. if you'd like to know more, feel free to drop a comment or reach me on tumblr at ahyesitsaugust. have a great day! <3


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